Now what?

    I hold this doll, but not a doll—
    the faintest breath upon my cheek,
    the slightest movement of the chest
    remind me now: this is no doll.

    Just hours ago I dressed this babe—
    with trembling hands and quaking heart,
    I clums'ly stretched the fine twined shirt
    over her head: just like a doll.

    Now what?

    Her mother sleeps in yonder room—
    exhausted, tired, in slumber blest,
    she rests from yesterday's long toil,
    unaware: I hold her doll.

    I had never held a babe
    until today, until this babe,
    nor felt so faintly blown against
    my hairy cheek: an angel's breath.

    Now what?

    Sweet innocence has closed her eyes—
    she cares not that my hands are rough
    nor that I know not what to do;
    gently, she sleeps within my arms.

    And when she wakes, what shall I do?
    Another first? A diaper's change?
    And when she grows and needs much more
    than my strong arms? I'll love her then.



    ©James Garner 7 July 2005